Thursday, April 13, 2006

Guitar / Tokyo / Rating: 5.2

“Problem is, there's not much going on beyond laying loops of various plucked phrases atop dully repetitive mid-tempo drum programming.”

Yeah, what Pitchfork said.

The average cost of newest release Tokyo by Guitar is around 16$. Allow me to steer you clear of purchasing even one track from this record and instead I will gladly offer you a list of items worth purchasing for the same amount of cash. I was almost willing to suggest “Sakura Coming” as the ONE song worthy of your time but “House Full of Time” from their previous record Sunkissed on Morr carries the same repetitive shoegazery with female vocals but does a better job of it. Seriously Guitar, way to write the same song over and over again but instead of improving with practice and time, you managed to beat your one trick pony to death by using herky jerky beats and Koto/ Pipa guitars.

This isn’t the sound of Tokyo as the artist was aiming for, it is the sound of a one dimensional dull on repeat.

I found PFM’s review a bit too kind perhaps but none the less accurate- down to the I swear this could have been a member of Mum heavy breathing… I mean singing…. too! Mark Richardson’s 5.2 rating is remarkably polite and I don’t believe Tokyo weighs in at much more than a 3.

Better things to do with your 16 bucks:

*Buy a decent bottle of wine
*Buy a different record; almost anything will be better
*Take a friend to see a matinee with you and split a small soda pop.
*Sixteen single dollar bills if spaced out correctly will afford you a seated position in front of your favorite stripper while she dances to an entire Rob Zombie song.
*Buy 13 or 14 items on the dollar menu from your favorite fast food place only to live with regret a few hours later.
*You always wanted to know what a professional manicure was like, right? Here is your chance!
*Where I live 16 dollars will be enough to get you stupid drunk on PBR but this may not apply to those living above the Mason Dixon line.
*Palm reading is a good way to kill 10 minutes of your day.
*Head on out to your corner market for scratch off lottery tickets. You know... for you gamblers with ADD.